True Friend of Mine

If I ran out of gas on the Interstate
And it’s twenty-below or maybe twenty-eight
And it’s three a.m. or maybe quarter to four
And I make my way to an all-night store
And I have no money, no money at all,
Just one quarter for a telephone call,
And I think “Who do I know who would get in their car
On a cold morning amd come this far
To East 5000th Avenue?” —
Well, you know, I’d think of you.

(Cause you’re a)
True Friend of Mine,
You always were a true true friend of mine.
Can’t think of anyone truer
Than you and that’s for sure.
Acquaintances may come and go
But you’re a true true friend. Hello? Hello….Hello…..

You say that your car ran out of gas?
       Yes, I’m out of gas on the overpass.
On East 5000th Avenue?
       About forty-eight miles east of you.
Have you tried calling Triple A?
       My card expired yesterday.
Call the police, it’s an emergency.
       Can’t call the police. They’re looking for me.
Looking for you? How come they are?
       Cause I broke out of jail and I stole this car.

(But you’re a)
True Friend of Mine.
You always were a true true friend of mine.
Can’t think of anyone truer
Than you and that’s for sure.
Acquaintances may come and go,
But you’re a true true friend. Hello? Hello? Hello.

Let’s go through this just once again.
You stole a car when you fled the pen.
And the car just died on a far roadside
And you’re on the run and you need a ride
       I’m on the lam from the slammer and in a jam
       With a couple of cons named Slick and Sam.
       I need a bath and a suit of clothes,
       And stay in your pad about a month, I suppose.
       Need to borrow some bread, need a plate of chow
       Need a room and a bed — can you come right now?

(Cause you’re a)
True Friend of Mine.
You always were a true true friend of mine.
Can’t think of anyone truer
Than you and that’s for sure.
Acquaintances may come and go,
But you’re a true true friend. Hello? Hello. Hello.

What time is it? I can’t see the clock.
Have you tried calling your brother Bob?
        Can’t call Bob cause he’s at his job.
How about Jim?
       Same with him.
How about Larry?
       Larry doesn’t answer.
       Larry’s worried about prostate cancer.
       He’s sitting at home, waiting for the lab test.
How about Jack?
       Jack turned Baptist.
       Came to the Lord and he’s making amends
       And he doesn’t hang out with his old friends.
I have to be at work at a quarter to nine,
Got meetings to go to and papers to sign.
I’m in management now — I can’t run around
Rescuing people whose car broke down
At 4 a.m. — it’s a long way to drive.
       Well, it’s not 4 a.m. it’s almost five.
And I’m a little surprised you’re calling me—
I haven’t seen you since 2003
The day I saw you in district court
When I had to sue you for child support.

(I know but you’re a)
True Friend of Mine.
You always were a true true friend of mine.
Can’t think of anyone truer
Than you and that’s for sure.
Acquaintances may come and go,
But you’re a true true friend. Hello? Hello. Hello.

My friends are gonna think I’m nuts
To drive across town to save your butt
After all you did to me
The cheating, the dishonesty,
But okay, I’ll clear the decks
And go out of my way to help my ex
       You say you’ll come?
I know, it’s dumb
But I’m a fool so what can I say?
       Hey, babe, you made my day.
       I never dreamed that you’d say yes.
Neither did I.
       You’re coming?
I guess.
Soon as I can get myself dressed,
And look around for my GPS.

Hey, babe? Let me tell you what this is about.
       I wasn’t in the pen and I didn’t break out.
You’re not on the run? You don’t need a loan?
       No, I’m sitting at home and I picked up the phone —
You and Sam and Slick?
       No, babes, just me.

And you were feeling lonely at half-past three?
       Actually it’s a little past four
       And you are the woman I adore.
And I wondered how you feel about me
So I picked up the phone cause I had to see

A series of poems read by Garrison

Garrison’s Weekly Column

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If I ran out of gas on the Interstate
And it’s twenty-below or maybe twenty-eight
And it’s three a.m. or maybe quarter to four
And I make my way to an all-night store
And I have no money, no money at all,
Just one quarter for a telephone call,
And I think “Who do I know who would get in their car
On a cold morning amd come this far
To East 5000th Avenue?” —
Well, you know, I’d think of you.

(Cause you’re a)
True Friend of Mine,
You always were a true true friend of mine.
Can’t think of anyone truer
Than you and that’s for sure.
Acquaintances may come and go
But you’re a true true friend. Hello? Hello….Hello…..

You say that your car ran out of gas?
       Yes, I’m out of gas on the overpass.
On East 5000th Avenue?
       About forty-eight miles east of you.
Have you tried calling Triple A?
       My card expired yesterday.
Call the police, it’s an emergency.
       Can’t call the police. They’re looking for me.
Looking for you? How come they are?
       Cause I broke out of jail and I stole this car.

(But you’re a)
True Friend of Mine.
You always were a true true friend of mine.
Can’t think of anyone truer
Than you and that’s for sure.
Acquaintances may come and go,
But you’re a true true friend. Hello? Hello? Hello.

Let’s go through this just once again.
You stole a car when you fled the pen.
And the car just died on a far roadside
And you’re on the run and you need a ride
       I’m on the lam from the slammer and in a jam
       With a couple of cons named Slick and Sam.
       I need a bath and a suit of clothes,
       And stay in your pad about a month, I suppose.
       Need to borrow some bread, need a plate of chow
       Need a room and a bed — can you come right now?

(Cause you’re a)
True Friend of Mine.
You always were a true true friend of mine.
Can’t think of anyone truer
Than you and that’s for sure.
Acquaintances may come and go,
But you’re a true true friend. Hello? Hello. Hello.

What time is it? I can’t see the clock.
Have you tried calling your brother Bob?
        Can’t call Bob cause he’s at his job.
How about Jim?
       Same with him.
How about Larry?
       Larry doesn’t answer.
       Larry’s worried about prostate cancer.
       He’s sitting at home, waiting for the lab test.
How about Jack?
       Jack turned Baptist.
       Came to the Lord and he’s making amends
       And he doesn’t hang out with his old friends.
I have to be at work at a quarter to nine,
Got meetings to go to and papers to sign.
I’m in management now — I can’t run around
Rescuing people whose car broke down
At 4 a.m. — it’s a long way to drive.
       Well, it’s not 4 a.m. it’s almost five.
And I’m a little surprised you’re calling me—
I haven’t seen you since 2003
The day I saw you in district court
When I had to sue you for child support.

(I know but you’re a)
True Friend of Mine.
You always were a true true friend of mine.
Can’t think of anyone truer
Than you and that’s for sure.
Acquaintances may come and go,
But you’re a true true friend. Hello? Hello. Hello.

My friends are gonna think I’m nuts
To drive across town to save your butt
After all you did to me
The cheating, the dishonesty,
But okay, I’ll clear the decks
And go out of my way to help my ex
       You say you’ll come?
I know, it’s dumb
But I’m a fool so what can I say?
       Hey, babe, you made my day.
       I never dreamed that you’d say yes.
Neither did I.
       You’re coming?
I guess.
Soon as I can get myself dressed,
And look around for my GPS.

Hey, babe? Let me tell you what this is about.
       I wasn’t in the pen and I didn’t break out.
You’re not on the run? You don’t need a loan?
       No, I’m sitting at home and I picked up the phone —
You and Sam and Slick?
       No, babes, just me.

And you were feeling lonely at half-past three?
       Actually it’s a little past four
       And you are the woman I adore.
And I wondered how you feel about me
So I picked up the phone cause I had to see

Link test

And it’s the birthday of author John Boyne (books by this author), born in Dublin in 1971. He knew he wanted to be a writer ever since he was about 14, and after college, where he studied literature and creative writing, he took a job at Waterstone’s bookstore in Dublin. He’d write for a few hours each morning, […]

Read More

Pricing

The cruise cabin pricing will range between $2,200 and $5,200 per person. This fare includes taxes, port and fuel, onboard cabin service charges/gratuities.   Please reserve your cabin via the EMI website

Read More

House band?

House band, led by Richard Dworsky, will include Chris Siebold, Larry Kohut, et. al. Richard Dworsky  Richard Dworsky is a versatile keyboardist/composer/recording artist/producer/music director, and is known for his amazing ability to improvise compositions on the spot in virtually any style. For 23 years (1993-2016), he served as pianist and music director for Garrison Keillor’s […]

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August 25, 2001

August 25, 2001

A May 27, 2000, rebroadcast from The Guthrie Theater in Minneapolis, with special guests Butch Thompson, and Kathy Mattea and her band.
Listen to the episode here

Read More
July 12, 2008

July 12, 2008

A summertime mix of three shows from Ohio. Dusty and Lefty get stuck roping shopping carts at a strip mall opening and “the drifter” returns to Lake Wobegon.

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What I saw in Vienna that the others didn’t

I was in Vienna with my wife and daughter last week and walked around the grand boulevards and plazas surrounded by imperial Habsburg grandeur feeling senselessly happy for reasons not quite clear to me but they didn’t involve alcohol. Nor paintings and statuary purchased with the sweat of working men and women. Nor the fact that to read about the daily insanity of Mr. Bluster I would need to learn German.

The sun was shining though the forecast had been for showers. I was holding hands with two women I love. There was excellent coffee in the vicinity, one had only to take deep breaths. Every other doorway seemed to be a Konditorei with a window full of cakes, tarts, pastries of all sizes and descriptions, a carnival of whipped cream and frosting, nuts and fruit. A person could easily gain fifty pounds in a single day and need to be hauled away in a wheelbarrow.

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A good vacation, now time to head home

I missed out on the week our failing president, Borderline Boy, got depantsed by the news coverage of crying children he’d thrown into federal custody and a day later he ran up the white flag with another of his executive exclamations, meanwhile the Chinese are quietly tying his shoelaces together. Sad! I was in London and Prague, where nobody asks us about him: they can see that he is insane and hope he doesn’t set fire to himself with small children present.

London was an experience. I landed there feeling ill and was hauled off to Chelsea hospital where a doctor sat me down and asked, “Can you wee?” I didn’t hear the extra e so it was like he’d said, “Can she us?” or “Will they him?”

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Man takes wife to Europe by ship

A man in love needs to think beyond his own needs and so I took my wife across the Atlantic last week aboard the mighty Queen Mary 2 for six days of glamor and elegance, which means little to me, being an old evangelical from the windswept prairie, brought up to eschew luxury and accept deprivation as God’s will, but she is Episcopalian and grew up in a home where her mother taught piano, Chopin and Liszt, so my wife appreciates Art Deco salons and waiters with polished manners serving her a lobster soufflé and an $18 glass of Chablis. If Cary Grant were to sit down and offer her a Tareyton, she’d hold his hand with the lighter and enjoy a cigarette with him.

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A summer night in the Big Apple Blossom

I went to prom Saturday night at my daughter’s school, which parents all allowed to attend so long as we don’t get in the way. It was held in the gym, under the basketball hoops, boys in suits and ties, girls in prom dresses, a promenade of graduating seniors, the crowning of a king and queen, a loud rock band to discourage serious conversation.

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Old man at the prom

I went to prom Saturday night at my daughter’s school, which parents all allowed to attend so long as we don’t get in the way. It was held in the gym, under the basketball hoops, boys in suits and ties, girls in prom dresses, a promenade of graduating seniors, the crowning of a king and queen, a loud rock band to discourage serious conversation.

Read More
A Prairie Home Companion An Evening of Story and Song Love & Comedy Tour Solo The Gratitude Tour
Schedule
Radio
A Prairie Home Companion: test only

A Prairie Home Companion: test only

A summertime mix of three shows from Ohio. Dusty and Lefty get stuck roping shopping carts at a strip mall opening and “the drifter” returns to Lake Wobegon.

Read More
A Prairie Home Companion: September 10, 2011

A Prairie Home Companion: September 10, 2011

A summertime mix of three shows from Ohio. Dusty and Lefty get stuck roping shopping carts at a strip mall opening and “the drifter” returns to Lake Wobegon.

Read More
A Prairie Home Companion: September 8, 2007

A Prairie Home Companion: September 8, 2007

It’s all about school in this week’s special compilation from the archives, so please remember your number two pencils and spiral bound notebooks. There will be a quiz.

Read More
A Prairie Home Companion: July 12, 2008

A Prairie Home Companion: July 12, 2008

A summertime mix of three shows from Ohio. Dusty and Lefty get stuck roping shopping carts at a strip mall opening and “the drifter” returns to Lake Wobegon.

Read More

The Writer’s Almanac for August 24, 2018

It was on this day in the year 410 that Rome was sacked by the Visigoths. It was the first time in 800 years that Rome was successfully invaded.

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I Think of You – 7/2/2016

I’m With Her (Sara Watkins, Sarah Jarosz, and Aoife O’Donovan) sing Utah Phillips’ “I Think of You” during our July 2, 2016 broadcast from the Hollywood Bowl.

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The Writer’s Almanac for July 15, 2018

The Writer’s Almanac for July 15, 2018

It’s the birthday of French philosopher Jacques Derrida, who founded the literary analysis technique known as deconstruction and who famously proclaimed that “there is nothing outside the text.”

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The Writer’s Almanac for July 14, 2018

The Writer’s Almanac for July 14, 2018

Today is the birthday of Woody Guthrie (born 1912), who once wrote a song about Billy the Kid. Coincidentally, today is the anniversary of the day Billy the Kid was shot and killed by Sheriff Pat Garrett in 1881 in New Mexico Territory.

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The Writer’s Almanac for July 13, 2018

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Today is the 41st anniversary of the 1977 blackout in New York City. It is also the birthday of poet John Clare, whose poem “The Sweetest Woman There” is featured in today’s episode. In 1840, Clare was committed to the Northampton General Lunatic Asylum, where he wrote some of his best poetry.

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The Writer’s Almanac for July 12, 2018

The Writer’s Almanac for July 12, 2018

Birthdays for today include those of Pablo Neruda, Henry David Thoreau, Julius Caesar, and Donald Westlake, who was such a prolific mystery writer that he used multiple pen names–Richard Stark, Curt Clark, Timothy J. Culver, and more–to circumvent his publisher’s reluctance to publish multiple titles per year by a single author.

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Writing

Link test

And it’s the birthday of author John Boyne (books by this author), born in Dublin in 1971. He knew he wanted to be a writer ever since he was about 14, and after college, where he studied literature and creative writing, he took a job at Waterstone’s bookstore in Dublin. He’d write for a few hours each morning, […]

Read More

Pricing

The cruise cabin pricing will range between $2,200 and $5,200 per person. This fare includes taxes, port and fuel, onboard cabin service charges/gratuities.   Please reserve your cabin via the EMI website

Read More

House band?

House band, led by Richard Dworsky, will include Chris Siebold, Larry Kohut, et. al. Richard Dworsky  Richard Dworsky is a versatile keyboardist/composer/recording artist/producer/music director, and is known for his amazing ability to improvise compositions on the spot in virtually any style. For 23 years (1993-2016), he served as pianist and music director for Garrison Keillor’s […]

Read More
August 25, 2001

August 25, 2001

A May 27, 2000, rebroadcast from The Guthrie Theater in Minneapolis, with special guests Butch Thompson, and Kathy Mattea and her band.
Listen to the episode here

Read More
July 12, 2008

July 12, 2008

A summertime mix of three shows from Ohio. Dusty and Lefty get stuck roping shopping carts at a strip mall opening and “the drifter” returns to Lake Wobegon.

Read More

What I saw in Vienna that the others didn’t

I was in Vienna with my wife and daughter last week and walked around the grand boulevards and plazas surrounded by imperial Habsburg grandeur feeling senselessly happy for reasons not quite clear to me but they didn’t involve alcohol. Nor paintings and statuary purchased with the sweat of working men and women. Nor the fact that to read about the daily insanity of Mr. Bluster I would need to learn German.

The sun was shining though the forecast had been for showers. I was holding hands with two women I love. There was excellent coffee in the vicinity, one had only to take deep breaths. Every other doorway seemed to be a Konditorei with a window full of cakes, tarts, pastries of all sizes and descriptions, a carnival of whipped cream and frosting, nuts and fruit. A person could easily gain fifty pounds in a single day and need to be hauled away in a wheelbarrow.

Read More

A good vacation, now time to head home

I missed out on the week our failing president, Borderline Boy, got depantsed by the news coverage of crying children he’d thrown into federal custody and a day later he ran up the white flag with another of his executive exclamations, meanwhile the Chinese are quietly tying his shoelaces together. Sad! I was in London and Prague, where nobody asks us about him: they can see that he is insane and hope he doesn’t set fire to himself with small children present.

London was an experience. I landed there feeling ill and was hauled off to Chelsea hospital where a doctor sat me down and asked, “Can you wee?” I didn’t hear the extra e so it was like he’d said, “Can she us?” or “Will they him?”

Read More

Man takes wife to Europe by ship

A man in love needs to think beyond his own needs and so I took my wife across the Atlantic last week aboard the mighty Queen Mary 2 for six days of glamor and elegance, which means little to me, being an old evangelical from the windswept prairie, brought up to eschew luxury and accept deprivation as God’s will, but she is Episcopalian and grew up in a home where her mother taught piano, Chopin and Liszt, so my wife appreciates Art Deco salons and waiters with polished manners serving her a lobster soufflé and an $18 glass of Chablis. If Cary Grant were to sit down and offer her a Tareyton, she’d hold his hand with the lighter and enjoy a cigarette with him.

Read More

A summer night in the Big Apple Blossom

I went to prom Saturday night at my daughter’s school, which parents all allowed to attend so long as we don’t get in the way. It was held in the gym, under the basketball hoops, boys in suits and ties, girls in prom dresses, a promenade of graduating seniors, the crowning of a king and queen, a loud rock band to discourage serious conversation.

Read More

Old man at the prom

I went to prom Saturday night at my daughter’s school, which parents all allowed to attend so long as we don’t get in the way. It was held in the gym, under the basketball hoops, boys in suits and ties, girls in prom dresses, a promenade of graduating seniors, the crowning of a king and queen, a loud rock band to discourage serious conversation.

Read More

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