December 20, 2018
Tuesday
8:00 p.m.
Minneapolis, MN
Test schedule
A live performance with Robin and Linda Williams at the Cedar Cultural Center
May 20, 2018
Sunday
3:00 p.m.
Lexington, MA
Lexington, MA
A live performance at the Saenger Theatre
April 10, 2018
Tuesday
8:00 p.m.
Tulsa, OK
Tulsa, OK
A live performance at the Brady Theater
March 17, 2018
Saturday
8:00 p.m.
Long Beach, CA
Long Beach, CA
A live performance at the Carpenter Performing Arts Center
March 15, 2018
Thursday
7:00 p.m.
Mobile, AL
Mobile, AL
A live performance at the Saenger Theatre
Oh we had a lovely party in Lake Wobegon last night
Everyone was there with their faces shining bright
We don’t all like each other and yet we reunite
At the Sons of Knute Christmas dance and dinner.
Oh the glitter and the candles and the gifts at every place,
It almost brought a smile to an old Norwegian’s face.
We went around and we shook hands though of course we don’t embrace
Except sometimes we’ll sort of hug you sideways.
There was Clarence Peterson and Hjalmar Peterson and Gladys Peterson and Lois Peterson
And Carl Peterson and Laura Peterson and Pete Peterson he was there too.
There was knackebrod and herring, about twenty different kinds,
There was meatballs and the pork with the hard and salty rinds,
And when they brought out the lutefisk, we almost lost our minds.
The lovely codfish served with melted butter.
I sat next to Hjalmar Peterson, now there’s a tough old bird.
We sat and chewed our lutefisk and we didn’t say a word.
Cause everything we have to say, we’ve already heard
At the Sons of Knute Christmas Dance and dinner.
There was Clarence Larson and Hjalmar Larson and Gladys Larson and Lois Larson
And Carl Larson and Judy Larson and Lars Larson he was there too.
We had three quarts of whiskey and a couple kegs of beer.
And everyone drank faster as we saw it disappear.
Then Svendson got out the aquavit and everybody cheered
And we drank a toast to the King and Queen of Norway.
I guess I got a little drunk from the aquavit
I was dancing on the tabletop in my stocking feet,
I sang Halsa Dem Darhjemma to a salsa beat
At the Sons of Knute Christmas Dance and dinner.
There was Clarence Nilssen and Hjalmar Nilssen and Gladys Nilssen and Lois Nilssen
And Ray Nilssen and Jenny Nilssen and Nils Nilssen he was there too.
I raised my hands for silence and then I told a joke,
It was a pretty raw one, not meant for decent folk.
And Pastor Jonsson laughed so hard I thought he’d have a stroke.
And a couple of guys blew Jell-O out their nostrils.
Well, everyone was scandalized by this debauchery
And they gossiped and they shook their heads so regretfully,
By God they had a wonderful night, and it was thanks to me
At the Sons of Knute Christmas dance and dinner.
There was Clarence Oleson and Hjalmar Oleson and Gladys Oleson and Lois Oleson
And Carl Oleson and Carolyn Oleson and Ole Oleson he was there too.
And then we moved the tables and we woke up the band,
I danced with all the teenage girls, I held em by the hand,
There’s nothing warms an old man’s heart like a sweet young woman can
I tell you I have no use for Viagra.
There was Christina Larson and Christina Svendson and Christina
Peterson and Christina Oleson
And Christina Anderson and Christina Johnson and then my wife
said “That’s enough for you.”
Then at two o’clock in the morning we finally swept all the trash away
And put on our overcoats and said a last adieu.
We said goodbye in the hallway and said goodbye on the stairs
We said goodbye on the sidewalk in the cold December air
Then we leaned against the cars and said goodbye out there
Boy, it was the best darn party ever.
O the meatballs and the herring and the whiskey and the beer
And for Lutherans, don’t you know, it was a festive atmosphere
And when I dropped my trousers, boy, they’ll be talking about that all year
At the Sons of Knute Christmas dance and dinner.