December 20, 2018
Tuesday
8:00 p.m.
Minneapolis, MN
Test schedule
A live performance with Robin and Linda Williams at the Cedar Cultural Center
May 20, 2018
Sunday
3:00 p.m.
Lexington, MA
Lexington, MA
A live performance at the Saenger Theatre
April 10, 2018
Tuesday
8:00 p.m.
Tulsa, OK
Tulsa, OK
A live performance at the Brady Theater
March 17, 2018
Saturday
8:00 p.m.
Long Beach, CA
Long Beach, CA
A live performance at the Carpenter Performing Arts Center
March 15, 2018
Thursday
7:00 p.m.
Mobile, AL
Mobile, AL
A live performance at the Saenger Theatre
As I went a-walking one morning in May,
I met a young couple who were coming my way,
And one was a young maid so sweet and so fair,
And the other was a writer, you could tell by his hair.
O writer, your words how smoothly they flow,
And your hair is so handsome. Said the writer: I know.
She cried: Let me serve you and keep your clothes clean
And bring you hot coffee at your writing machine.
O well, said the writer, perhaps that will do.
I must be free, but I’m quite fond of you.
And now with your pardon to the city I’ll go,
And I will return in a few days or so.
When he departed, to the maiden I ran:
Young maiden, beware of that false, handsome man.
He’s a writer of fiction, and when they take a bride,
It’s only for research, then he’ll cast you aside.
I am a critic, and so I must warn:
His books are an object of pity and scorn.
He’s a man without style or vision or honor,
And he’s stolen his best stuff from Flannery O’Connor.
The young maiden said, “That, sir, is a lie.”
And she turned on her heel, and she married the guy.
And she was his lover, and she was his muse,
And his next book was better, in some people’s views.
And here I sit thinking and dreaming of her,
And so I’ve become his biographer,
I’ve given up smoking and only drink tea
So that his life story will be written by me.
I’ve gathered stories of his every misdeed:
Anger, lust, gluttony, sloth, pride, and greed.
I’ve written the book and rewritten it twice.
I’ve switched to a diet of tofu and rice.
Each day at the health club, I row and I ride.
And I wait for the news that the writer has died.