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O What a Luxury
(A poem rejected by every serious journal I submitted it to, from The New Yorker on down, and yet it has given pleasure to thousands of people who heard me recite it, including women, who tend to resist the poem until the line about aiming up at the stars and then they fall apart. This tells me that sensitivity is singular and vulgarity is plural.)

O what a luxury it be
What pleasure O what perfect bliss
So ordinary and yet chic
To pee to piss to take a leak

To feel your bladder just go free
And open like the Mighty Miss
And all your cares go down the creek
To pee to piss to take a leak

For gentlemen of great physique
Who can hold water for one week
For ladies who one quarter-cup
Of tea can fill completely up
For folks in urinalysis
For little kids just learning this
For Viennese or Swiss or Greek
For everyone it’s pretty great
To urinate.

Women are quite circumspect
But men can piss with great effect
With terrible hydraulic force
Can make a stream or change its course
Can put out fires or cigarettes
And sometimes, laying down our bets,
Late at night outside the bars
We like to aim up at the stars.

O yes for men its much more grand
Women sit or squat
We stand
And hold the fellow in our hand
And proudly watch the golden arc
Adjust the range and make our mark
On stones and posts for rival men
To smell and not come back again.

A series of poems read by Garrison

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“Edna St. Vincent Millay - Spring”
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APHC Cruise 2020

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The cruise cabin pricing will range between $2,200 and $5,200 per person. This fare includes taxes, port and fuel, onboard cabin service charges/gratuities.   Please reserve your cabin via the EMI website

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House band?

House band, led by Richard Dworsky, will include Chris Siebold, Larry Kohut, et. al. Richard Dworsky  Richard Dworsky is a versatile keyboardist/composer/recording artist/producer/music director, and is known for his amazing ability to improvise compositions on the spot in virtually any style. For 23 years (1993-2016), he served as pianist and music director for Garrison Keillor’s […]

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A Prairie Home Companion An Evening of Story and Song Love & Comedy Tour Solo The Gratitude Tour
APHC Cruise 2020
APHC Cruise 2020

Pricing

The cruise cabin pricing will range between $2,200 and $5,200 per person. This fare includes taxes, port and fuel, onboard cabin service charges/gratuities.   Please reserve your cabin via the EMI website

Read More

House band?

House band, led by Richard Dworsky, will include Chris Siebold, Larry Kohut, et. al. Richard Dworsky  Richard Dworsky is a versatile keyboardist/composer/recording artist/producer/music director, and is known for his amazing ability to improvise compositions on the spot in virtually any style. For 23 years (1993-2016), he served as pianist and music director for Garrison Keillor’s […]

Read More

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