The autoharp is an instrument on which simple harmony
Is obtained by pressing a chord bar, such as F or G,
Felt dampers thereby deaden the strings that are not needed,
And strumming it makes music, it is generally conceded.

It was invented by Charles F. Zimmerman in 1881,
An event that he compared to the rising of the sun.
“It is,” he said, “the very finest work of man on earth.”
A statement that was greeted with some mirth.

Music can be played by anyone who hears
Zimmerman believed, and so did Sears
Which sold thousands of them yonder and hither,
But still it was known as the idiot zither.

Until it was played by Pops Stoneman, a Virginian
Who did his part to change public opinion
By recording many tunes that were fancier and harder
And so did Kilby Snow and Maybelle Carter.

Many musicians otherwise liberal in their views
See an autoharp and ask to be excused.
But they’ve a surprise coming, in that city bright and fair
They’ll find no guitars, only autoharps up there.
But you can have yours here on earth, at Jack’s Auto Repair.