When your hearing gets so fuzzy you hear the word “peanuts” as “penis,” it’s time to stop in at the hearing-aid shop, lest one day you go to the ballgame and get arrested for indecent exposure. A reasonable man will do this. A man who prefers to live by what he imagines is a danger to himself and others. You tell him his pants are on fire and he grabs you, thinking you asked him to dance, and now your pants are on fire too. This is what we are seeing in America this year, and soon we shall find out if a majority of people prefer to be deaf. The Republican Party constabulary has rushed to embrace Mr. Btfsplk, a man whom they loathed, scorned and despised a few months ago, and now begins the campaign to make Mrs. Clinton seem so despicable that Mr. Btfsplk will shine a little by comparison.

Read the full column at the Chicago Tribune’s site →